Bereavement Support
How to Cope
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said there are four stages of grief: denial, anger, depression and acceptance.
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Acknowledge and accept intense feelings as a normal reaction.
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Allow yourself to cry and express your feelings.
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Seek and accept support from your family, friends, minister, etc.
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Take care of yourself. Get enough sleep and eat well.
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Pace yourself and be patient.
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Keep a journal, write a poem or listen to music.
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Learn about death and dying.
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Have faith in yourself and trust that you will heal.
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Take one day at a time.
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Meditate or pray.
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Discuss your concerns with the hospice social worker.
Children and Grief
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is difficult for almost everyone, but especially so for children and teens. We know that all living things and people must die, yet it is often hard to understand why it must happen. It is sometimes even harder to help children understand that they will never see a loved one on earth again but it’s important to explain that their special memories will keep their loved one close in their hearts.
Here are some activities that children and teens can do to remember a loved one.
Plant Something! Ask a family member to help you buy a plant that your loved one would have liked, or one that reminds you of him or her. Choose a special place to grow the plant and place it in the ground. You can return to the spot at special times, or when you want to think about some special memories. Remember, even though your loved one has died, your plant will continue to grow.
This activity is for teens and adults. You might want to consider planting a bulb or a seed in a pot as a symbol to nurture yourself. Remember, that you too, were once smaller than that tiny seed. Be amazed how much you have grown. Plant a piece of paper in the soil stating your good intention to provide yourself with everything you need now to continue to grow strong and beautiful. Each time you water the seed, you are honoring and fostering your own expansion.
Make a Lei. Make a flower lei to remember someone who has died. With each flower you string, think of a special memory you have of your loved one, a loving wish for him or her, or a wish for your own life now. When you are done, take the lei to the ocean with any family members or friends you would like near you. Throw the lei into the ocean, releasing all of your wishes into the waves, knowing that as you say good-bye to your loved one, you will always hold precious memories in your heart. Another idea is to give the lei to someone special, or to hang it in a special place.
Paint a Rock. Rock painting allows you to honor your loved one who has died, express your feelings or inspire you. You will need smooth surfaced rocks, paint of different colors, paint brushes, a bowl of water (rinse brushes), and newspaper.
Cover a table with newspaper. Select your rocks and start painting. You may paint words, symbols, or pictures—be creative. Display the rocks in your garden or place them where you can see them. Hopefully, they will bring a smile to you.